- vipertongue -

Taken a picture naked?
The last time I did that, the model I was shooting took one look at me and slowly shook her head in utter pity.

Made out with a member of the same sex?
No.  Sheeesh, whaddaya think I am, a fashion designer or something?!

Danced in front of your mirror?
Yes, and the mirror begged to be put out of its misery.  Even agreed to skip the whole "seven years of bad luck" thing…

Told a lie?
Absolutely never.  This bulletinboard is a testimonial to that.  Keep reading.

Been in a fist fight?
Yes.  And only one walked away to write in bulletinboards.   If that ain’t a life well lived, I don’t know what is.

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
Ah, the story of my life.

Been arrested?
Remember the photoshoot I mentioned?  Now you know what I was arrested for.

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
No.  Sheeesh, whaddaya think I am, a fashion designer or something?!

Seen someone die?
The slower the better.  Oh yes…

Kissed a picture?
Yes.. a picture of myself in all its glory.  *sigh.

Slept in until 3?
To be technical, it was more like "passed out".

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
Cumulus, stratus, nekkid chick, nimbus…

Played dress up?
Luke Skywalker (using my karate uniform), Ace Frehley (used up all of mom’s tin foil), and The Crow (but with runny make-up and love handles).

Fallen asleep at work?
Aren’t you glad I’m not an air traffic controller?  Granted, falling asleep with a full pincushion on my wrist wasn’t very fun either…

Felt an earthquake?
With my current weight, i was probably the bloody epicenter.

Made out with a total stranger?
After several vodka tonics, she started to resemble Penelope…

Touched a snake?
Yup, ate it too.  Tastes like chicken.

Ran a red light?
Yes.

Had detention?
Yup.  Ended up with Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy, singing Simple Minds’ "(don’t you) forget about me".

Been in a car accident?
Please refer to the question before the last one.

Pole danced?
Never been to Poland.  Now, tell me, is it a coincidence that the Poles and Indonesians share the same flag?  Oh I beg to differ.

Been lost?
Ever heard of the song "I Lobster, but I Flounder"?  No? 

Sang karaoke?
I have all Michael Learns to Rock songs memorized by heart.  They complete me.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
Yes.  Fill out a friendster bulletinboard.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Yes.  Thats why I don’t dance naked in front of the mirror anymore.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Whoever wrote this watches too many chick flicks.

Kissed in the rain?
Yes, while hanging upside down, and Kirsten Dunst was wearing a thin wet fuchsia top.  **sigh.

Sang in the shower?
Yes.  My favorite shower tune is the theme from Alfred Hitchcock’s "Psycho".

Got your tongue stuck to a pole?
Yes, while pole dancing in a Canadian winter.  Stretched out my tongue.  Oh, I can also breathe thru my ears too.

Ever gone to school partially naked?
I never let nudity get in the way of a good education.

Sat on a roof top?
How else are you supposed to covet thy neighbour’s wife?  From the porch?  Sheesh.

Gotten in a car with people you just met?
Sure. Angkot Cicaheum - Ledeng.

Played chicken?
Yes.  The chicken was not amused.  So I decided to stir fry him with kacang mede instead.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Yes.  If they pushed me in nekkid, it would traumatize the marine life.

Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
Yes, and said back to her "Hot gets cold, baby.. but cool, is forever."  *snap!*

Broken a bone?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but thermonuclear weapons will never hurt me.

Mooned/flashed someone?
Yes.  She ended up rolling on the floor, laughing.

Forgotten someone’s name?
Yes.  Whats the point of being self centred if you have to remember names?

Slept naked?
No.  Its very uncomfortable.  ’nuff said.

Blacked out from drinking?
Yes.  I downed a whole bottle of Green Sands in under 60 seconds.  Not recommended.

Played a prank on someone? Y
Yes.  Sent an email to Bush on WMDs in Iraq.  In retrospect, not the most brilliant of ideas.

Felt like killing someone? N
"Do, or do not!  There is no feel!" - Yoda, Jedi Master.

Made a parent cry?
Yes, whenever I pick up my date.  Sheeesh, its not like I don’t return her home on time.  Untraumatized.  In one piece.

Cried over someone?
Penelope.  Her loss.  Matthew ain’t got nothin’ on me. 

Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
No.  When the flesh was strong, the wallet was weak.  By the time the wallet was strong,… alas, the flesh hath weakened.  O woe is me. 

Had/Have a dog?
Nope.  But I had a cat that looked like a genetic hybrid of polarbear and jackfruit.  Blanca will be sorely missed.

Been in a band?
Yes. I was "JC" of "JC and the Last Temptations".  Played air guitar.

Drank 25 sodas in a day?
Sodas?  Whoever wrote this is not of drinking age yet.

Shot a gun?
Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum with hollow point rounds: Never leave home without it.  Are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

Ever wanted to kill an ex?
Ate her liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.