- vipertongue -

8 out of the 10 times I say “untuk apa?”, what I actually mean is “I cannot afford it.”

Real men don’t wear white shoes. Sneakers? Okay, I’ll cut you some slack.

You know you are in the wrong type of business when at industry gatherings, you are the only guy at the table who isn’t wearing a feather boa, full makeup, and blowing air kisses to fellow males.

Those Things Women Say, Number 592: “He’s actually a nice guy if you get to know him better.”

You know you work in advertising if you have put on a huge afro wig at least once in your life. Either that or you went to FSRD ITB.

Women who like romantic men paling gampang dikibulin. Deservedly so.

A country as overpopulated as Indonesia needs more smokers. Hey, impotence has its benefits.

My problem with “Sex in the City” is that if you made the exact same show but substituted the female characters for males, there would be outraged women protesting in no time, claiming it is chauvinistic and offensive.

But yeah, Charlotte does make my knees weak.

If you have to remind someone every single day, five times a day, using a bloody loudspeaker nonetheless, he probably doesn’t really want to do it in the first place, alright? Sheeesh.

When you are local, you always have to explain and defend your own label. When you go to Mango, do you ever ask them if its harummanis, kweni, or golek?

How can you take french porn seriously when all they say is “Ouiii… ouiii….. OOUUIIII!!!”?

Not that *I* ever take porn seriously. Well, except when its Japanese. Starring Maria Ozawa.

Its not that I have too much time on my hands. Its just that you don’t think.

Its not that I am just too bitchy. Its just that you don’t think.

Its not that you have more deep and important things to think about. Its just that you don’t think.

Its not because I am defensive that I put a “shallow” in the title. Actually, come to think of it, yes it is!
A building collapses. Two hundred people die, one baby survives. Now let me get this clear… that’s a miracle to be thankful for? How does that logic work, exactly?

Nothing is worse than a verbose fitting model who aspires to be a designer.

Don’t tell me what type of person you are. I’ll observe your behaviour and make my own conclusions, thank you very much.

Move to Jakarta once in your life. Leave before your weekends consist of “dari mall ke mall”.

The chances of a Project Runway contestant winning is inversely proportional to how much I like his or her designs.

Most Indonesians get married out of fear, not out of love. Fear of parents, extended family, society, and the ticking clock.

If you are the type to ever say “I don’t care about what I wear as long as its comfortable”, please allow me to dye it pink top to bottom. After all, its all about comfort and being “real”, right?

And if you are that type of person, I bet that if you were given a choice between Buavita and Gula Asem, you would probably choose the latter. And you went to FSRD ITB.

As an entrepreneur, its important to create something from scratch. Not license, not franchise, not distribute, but to create.

If you say you aspire to build a company to last a hundred years, quite a few business people will laugh at you. Just keep in mind that these are also the same guys who believed that some guy actually walked on water.

If we are supposed to be vegetarians, then why are animals so tasty?

Anyone who thinks that the rules of morality can be neatly written down, probably doesn’t know very much about it.

Why is it that bule guys here always make snide comments on how Indonesians watch too much crappy TV and own no books, while at the same time only date poultry-esque (yes, I personally coined that term) women who never read anything beyond Kosmopolitan? If she is even literate, that is.

Of course capricorns forgive. We just don’t forget.

R&B: Music for people who don’t really like music but pretend to.