- vipertongue -

Move to Bali once in your life.  Leave before you start going all “Bali-er Than Thou” and act smugly superior to Jakartans.

You
know you work in advertising if you wear t-shirts with satiric junk
food logos, listen to Mika, watch Wong Kar Wai, and think that Benyamin
is cool.  "I’m so hip and ironic, I amaze myself sometimes!"

Typical
Responses You Receive If You Are Actually Idiotic Enough to Tell People
You Design Clothing for a Living, #24:  Fashion Student / Designer
Wannabe Response:  "So, lagi ngeluarin koleksi trend apa nih?"

You know you’re a Rabid Bunda if your email address is "(insert your child’s name here)-ku@yahoo.com"

The best literary critique I have ever read: "The
book was both good and original.  The problem is, the good parts
weren’t very original, and the original parts weren’t very good."

How to lose friends and alienate people:  Join an MLM.

When shaving, as in life, always go against the grain.

I would be a rich man if I received a penny everytime I hear a musician wax poetic on how music is a "universal language that crosses boundaries and cultures."

Real men never drink rose’ wine.

Okay, do this.  Listen to Snow Patrol’s "Chasing Cars".  Imagine the words in Indonesian.  Tell me.. doesn’t it sound like a song done by a band that belongs on a KFC billboard?

There are only three things in life that are certain: Death, taxes, and a child’s fondness for spaghetti.

If I ever get married one day, I plan on kneeling down and washing her feet instead.  The look on all of my relatives’ faces?  Priceless!

Some people get married for a greencard.  I think I would get married for a black Amex Centurion card.

Ever
wondered why men’s shirts unbutton and open from the left side, and a
women’s shirts the opposite way? A man uses his right hand to draw his
sword or gun from the left side of his belt, and a woman breastfeeds
using the left breast as it is closest to her heart.  Men kill, women nurture.

So yeah, if you think about it, if all presidents were women, there would be no war.  We’d just have intense negotiations every 27 days or so. 

10
- Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11-
But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham!
Abraham!"  "Here I am," he replied. 12 - "Do not lay a hand on the
boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear
God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." 13
- Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram [a] caught by
its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

In short, God said "Dude, you just got Punk’d!"

My advice to malaysian rockers:  Add more fiber to your diet.  You just might sing better.

If you ever survived getting two of your cats into the back of the car to take to the vet, its difficult not come away thinking “Noah, you da man, bro…” regardless of your personal beliefs. 

There are quite a few things that can make you feel good about life.  Watching a child attack a plate of spaghetti is one of them.

You know something is fundamentally wrong when your best defense for it is "Yes, but the book itself teaches peace and goodwill, not violence and hatred."

There is always somebody worse off than you are.  And probably deserved it less, too.

Cool name for a chinese restaurant: "The Ignorant Duck (d/h Cuek Bebek)"

Figure
out what you would gladly do for free.  If you happen to be somewhat
good at it, find out a way to make people pay you some money to
continue doing so.  Top it off with good health, good friends, and some
peace of mind, and hey… you’ve got yourself a pretty decent gig going on there.

"I don’t want to be original.  I want to be good."  - Mies Van Der Rohe, Architect.

Live
in Jakarta once in your life.  Leave before you start wearing yellow
"Live Strong" bracelets and carry a "I Am Not a Plastic Bag" bag without having a frickin’ clue what its all about.

Okay,
let me get this straight…  I have concerns that you do not fear me
*enough*, therefore, I’ll sucker you into chopping off your son’s
head…  Alriiiiiiiight.  *ngacung jempol*

I never think of long weekends.  I never count my leave.  I prefer my desk.  But if you put a gun on my head and told me to take a vacation, I am taking my laptop with me.  So help you God.

Jawa uber alles.